the dreaded question- flashback 2015

April 6, 2017

It was only time before I heard the dreaded question come out of my curious three year old’s mouth, “when will I walk without my wheels mama?”

He’s usually very proud of his wheels, and he’s mentioned things about not being about to walk before, but this time felt different.

He’s noticing he is different.

He’s noticing his limitations.

He wants to do something that is just physically not possible.

Dear Tough Guy,

If I could reach to the moon and bring it down for you so you could collect moon dust and look for martians, I would.

If I could catch Spiderman and bring him home to you to be your own personal superhero, I would.

If I could make a million cookies with you everyday and we could eat them without getting sick and fat, I would.

If I could travel to every country in the world and collect all the baby hooty owls for you, I would.

If I could magically tell your legs to walk, I would ask God- is this what you want for Tough Guy?

Son, let me tell you a little about my journey with your legs.

When the doctors told me you would probably not walk before you were born.  I didn’t believe them.  I prayed fervently to God, “please let him walk.  Prove the doctors wrong.”

When I realized it was likely you wouldn’t walk when you were just a little baby, I continued to pray fervently to God, “he may not move his legs now, but show us the miracle, let him walk.”

When you began to use your tiny little wheelchair when you were a toddler and I saw the pride in your spirit and the awe in strangers faces I started to pray, “Thank you God, for the gift of Tough Guy’s wheels.  If You want him to walk, lead the way.  If You want him to wheel, I accept that.”

And now that you are a big three year old, I pray.  “Thank you God for Tough Guy exactly the way he is.  Please help him accept himself exactly the way he is too.”

I don’t really think about you not walking buddy.  Because you are perfect the way you are and that’s how God created you.  I don’t know how God decides on how we are made, which struggles we face, or the beauty we receive.  Whether you can see it on the outside or not, everyone has struggles.  Everyone also has unique talents that they can do better than others.  These why’s in life our are greatest mysteries.  We can’t help what color of eyes we have, or the way we can move our bodies, but we can accept to share our very best things about ourselves with the world.  When we share our beautiful spirits with the world, the outside limitations of our bodies fade into the distance.

So this is what I would hope you do each day.  Thank God you are alive and thank him for all the amazing things about yourself.  Ask God how you can use those gifts to make the world the best place. And always, always, love yourself.  Because you are love.

Keep wheeling and we can pray for walking. If the answer is wheels, you rock it. You show them you are the best wheeler in the world.  If the answers is you stand and walk, thank God for that gift and do good.  God will lead the way.

Love you buddy,

Mommy

More about Jill

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *