just.start 9.23.23
I’m just a mom. In the middle of life. Navigating the ebbs and tides of the day to day. You may know what I mean. Wake up, get the kids to school on time, squeeze in coffee that will ultimately be reheated 5 times before you even sit down to enjoy it. You’ve made breakfast, found lost homework and calmed down a crying child, because, well, lost homework. You’ve fed the dog, the kids, swapped out the laundry and washed that soaking dish from last night’s dinner. Within a matter of 1 or 2 hours from when your alarm went off, you’ve done what feels like a full day’s work.
If this all makes sense… you’re also in the middle.
I have dreams, and I seek that internally knowing of what that is and even what I need to do. But life gets busy, and priorities shift to what we need to do. Those things in life that if we don’t do them, will continue to pile up and the overwhelm will only become worse. These things in life aren’t always things that we hate (although, I don’t think I will ever enjoy cleaning the showers or going through mail), they aren’t all bad. There are times, when I really do enjoy making dinner. If I turn on a really good show or podcast, I can find folding laundry almost like therapy. I call these things life chores. They are things in life, that we need to do, because simple, we are human. These life chores sustain our lives of being human in this modern world we live in.
Which makes me think, we do indeed live in a modern and busy world. Busy isn’t just an expectation. It’s almost like a status symbol. Sometimes, I think the more we have on our plate, the more important we feel. Or perhaps it’s not that we actually desire to actually be busier, but that if we aren’t busy, we think there might be something wrong with us. We see the world around us, doing more, gaining more, and succeeding more… and we think that the problem, is with us.
I’ve spent years trying to actually write a blog, or even dare to say, write a book. It’s been on my heart for a long time, and I know with discernment that steps have actually been taken to open doors for me in this arena. But I have allowed stuff to get in the way.
When I say stuff, I do actually mean, the physical stuff. But I also mean the stuff like fear, judgement, ego and greed to actually get in the way. I believe that after now being a mom for 15 years and navigating through many ups and downs of motherhood, I can say that I found three things to be true.
1. Whether a mom has a job or stays at home, has a partner or doing it alone, she has way more on her plate on responsibilities than really humanly possible to always maintain. Even if you have your routines down pat, at some point, a curve ball will be thrown at you and you will need help.
2. When they say it goes fast, it really does, but that phrase is never really helpful because it just brings up pangs of urgency to do it all, regrets of the things you didn’t do, and guilt because at the end of the day, you (maybe) would rather climb into bed and watch a show than sit down and journal about the growth and amazingness of your child(ren).
3. The heart of the matter is that mother’s want one thing more than anything; to cherish and embrace the time we have while our children are home, so that we can create the absolute best connections possible with our children and families.
just.that
So today, I am finally going to just.start
I am sitting here among a pile of school papers, papers that I don’t know if I should keep or file, a stack of cookbooks below my chair that I started sorting 3 months ago, and one peaceful candle. I lit that candle as my only reminder, that no matter how cluttered life is around you, there will be light, if you simply…welcome it among the chaos.
I welcome you to join me on this journey
the journey of
just.
just.dream
just.start
just.home
just.motherhood
just.love
Whatever it is that is holding you back, I just.hope that you will find that light, allow it to be lit, and move forward so that we can truly embrace motherhood and create connection without having to be any busier or becoming any better. I know I already have what I need to just.live the life I truly want to, and I know you do to.
~just your friend,
Jill
